


The Funny Man

by Darky_Parky



Category: jacksepticeye
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, Arguing, Horror, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Mild Gore, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:51:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16492043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darky_Parky/pseuds/Darky_Parky
Summary: make 'em roar, make 'em screammakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeemlaughmakeem





	The Funny Man

I continued to color as mommy and daddy yelled at each other. This was a very common in my home. Ben and I would come home from school, we'd have dinner and then mommy and daddy tell us to go to our rooms. Then they'd yell at each other for a very, very long time.

Usually, I would be with my brother, but he doesn't want to hang out as much anymore. He says I'm "annoying him", but what does Ben know? He's a boy. And boy's are icky.

I frowned slightly as my crayon ran outside the line. I shrugged and went on. It's okay to be sloppy. Daddy is sloppy. Well, at least that's what mommy said.

" _Whatcha drawin' there?"_ I turned to see a man behind me. He had a big smile and an all black outfit on. On his neck was a large, red gash - it looked like it hurt. He kinda looked like one of daddy's friends.

"Who are you?"

His smile seemed to widen. " _They call me: the Funny Man!"_ he said dramatically.

I tilted my head to the side curiously. "Funny Man?"

"OH WELL WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW, STACY?!"

" _I come to unhappy kids and turn their frowns,_ " he pushed up the corners of my lips into a smile, " _upside down!"_

"IT'S EVERY NIGHT WITH THIS, CHASE! HOW DO YOU EXPECT OUR CHILDREN-"

I waved my hand dismissively, turning back to my coloring book. "Just ignore them, they do this every night." The Funny Man leaned over to see what I was coloring.

"I AM NOT THE ONE THAT PICKS THESE FIGHTS, STACY! YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE THAT-"

" _Hm, that cat seems a bit bland._ " He tapped the page and the all white cat turned a lime green. I looked to the Funny Man with amazement as he chuckled softly.

"How'd you do that?"

" _I can do lots o' things._ " He held up one finger on each hand. " _Watch this._ " He ripped off his own head causing red to spurt from the neck in a cartoon-like way. He tossed his head about and even tried a few tricks like spinning the top of his head on a single finger. Meanwhile the red spilling from his neck now turning into something resembling a fountain display.

I giggled and clapped my hands at the strange yet entertaining show. The Funny Man placed his head back on but backwards, causing me to laugh even harder as he repeatedly asked me if his head was on right. Eventually he put his head back into the right position, grinning from ear to ear. " _There's that smile._ "

He turned his head with his hands to look at my window before turning it back to me. " _Well, Sophie, I'm afraid I have to go. Tell me if yer parents start arguin' again. I'll make sure that won't happen again._ " The Funny Man got up from the floor and opened my window. He looked to me and waved. " _Bye-bye, Sophie._ "

"Bye-bye, Mr. Funny Man." He laughed before climbing out the window, disappearing into the dark. I smiled as I turned once again to my coloring book only to see that the cat was once again white. Odd, I thought as I went back to coloring.

* * *

Throw. Bounce. Catch. Throw. Bounce. Catch. Throw. Bounce. Catch.

"DON'T PRETEND I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU GO EVERY NIGHT!"

Throw. Bounce. 

"OH, YEAH?! WHERE DO I GO, STACY?! WHERE DO I GO?!"

Catch. Ignore. Throw. Ignore. Bounce. Ignore. Catch.

"YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW WHEN YOU'RE IN THE DRIVEWAY?! THE SMELL OF ALCOHOL ON YOU!"

Throw harder. Bounce faster. Catch faster. Throw harder. Throw harder. Throw-

The ball bounced off the wall and went right over my head for I had skillfully dodged the ball. I squeezed my eyes tight, awaiting the loud bang of the ball hitting the back wall.  . . . But it never came.

I looked over my shoulder to see a man on my bed in a criss-cross position. He had on a black T-shirt, ripped black jeans, a grin on his face, and a big gash across his neck. He kinda looked like one of dad's friends. . . Jack, wasn't it? . . . Isn't he in the hospital still?

"Who are you?" He tossed my ball back to me.

" _People call me: the Funny Man!_ _"_ I raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but what's your real name?"

" _Anti._ "

"That's a weird name."

" _I think all names are weird names. Like yours, for example. Benjamin Brody? Sounds like a comic book character,_ " the man said through giggling.

I froze. ". . . How do you know my name?"

" _I know lots o' things, Ben. I know yer mum and dad come home to fight every night. And I know that makes ya unhappy, so I'm here to help!"_

"Help? How can you help something like this?"

" _Well, fer one:_ " Anti snapped his fingers and mom and dad's yelling went away. My eyes must have been popping out of my sockets.

"Woah, how'd ya do that?!"

Anti shrugged nonchalantly. " _I can do lots o' things, Ben. Like this:_ " Anti snapped his fingers once again and he disappeared. I looked about my room until he popped back in on a bicycle. Specifically the bicycle I had put on my Christmas list three years in a row. The silver paint job, the custom engraving of "Hi Ho Silver" along the side.

He grinned as he honked the horn. "Woah!" Anti hopped off the bike and put in lock. 

" _Fastest bike in the world, right?"_ I ran my hands over the smooth exterior, lost for words.

"Woah- I-" I turned to the strange man and smiled widely. "Thank you."

" _No need to thank me, Ben._ " Anti ruffled my hair, a gesture I usually didn't like but now I don't really mind. " _It's what I do._ " Anti crossed over to my window that I didn't remember opening and went to climb out.

"Wait! Will I ever see you again?" Anti peered over his shoulder and grinned.

" _I'll always be wit' ya, Ben. Whether ya know it or not._ " He winked at me before climbing out the window, disappearing into the night. Leaving me with a brand new bike and complete and utter silence.

* * *

I didn't know what happened. I didn't know how it happened. All I knew was one moment I was in the living room with Stacy, the next I was in the midst of darkness. Pure, utter, darkness. It was so black, I was wondering if I was finally dead. That was until I bumped into a table.

I patted the pockets of my pants seeing if I could find my phone. I didn't, but I did still have my lighter thankfully. And Stacy said I'd never use it.

I dug it out of my pocket and flipped the lid open. I had to ignite it a few times before a steady flame was lit. The small light broke through the void of darkness. From what little the light had revealed I knew I was no longer at home. Slowly, I walked through the area, not sure what I should be looking for. Or looking out for. 

I found that I was in the middle of a hallway of what looked like somebody's home. Drawers and tables pressed against the picture covered walls, various decorations placed atop of them.

As I looked about the narrow hallway I found something. . . odd about the pictures. As I looked closer I could see they were pictures of my own family. . . except something was wrong. None of them wore the bright smiles they originally had, instead they had blank expressions. Their eyes bore into my very soul.

That's when I began to hear the whispers.

" _Worthless._ _Pathetic._ "

I pulled my eyebrows together. "Stacy?"

" _Embarrassing. Damn drunk._ "

"Ben?"

" _Mean. I hate you!"_

"Sophie?" A crimson light shone through the darkness, giving everything an eerie look. ". . . Who's there?" I could hear laughter. The laughter of my kids. "Ben? Sophie?" But that laughter morphed into screams of terror. Panic spiked through me. 

Where are my kids? Where are my kids? I thought as I picked up speed.

The screams died and I could hear crying. Not Ben's, but Sophia. Sophia was crying somewhere. My feet pounded against the hardwood floors as I raced down the hallway. But no matter how fast I went the hallway didn't seem to have an end. "Sophie?! Sophie! SOPHIA!" I stopped upon seeing a dark figure at the end of the hallway.

It was neither one of my kids nor Stacy. It was someone else. Or rather. . . something else. My heart pounding, my mouth dry, I mustered up the courage to speak and make myself known. "WHERE ARE THEY?!"

He turned, showing his wide grin and his glowing green eye. He walked toward me and-

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